Saturday, May 30, 2009

A movie everyone should see.

One of my best friends at school made me watch this movie one night my freshman year. We haven't stopped quoting it since. Just see if you ever say the word "sorry" the same ever again.

Dear Mean Lady Whose Car I Accidentally Hit Yesterday,

I'm very sorry that I knocked the mirror off of your ugly beige sedan that was parked in a non-parking spot in the entrace to a crowded lot near my boyfriend's bike shop. I really didn't mean to, it was a nearly unavoidable mishap (I'm not even going to use the word "accident") because that area of the parking lot is much too narrow, and there are parked cars on either side, and there was a very large truck coming toward me, and in the end, I had to decide between being paralyzed from the neck down and your side-view mirror.

Obviously, I made the wrong choice. I know this because you have chosen to punish me, and it must be exactly what I deserve for you to not take our phone calls, demand that we go through insurance and be rude to me the one time you allowed me to speak to you. Nevermind the fact that I left a nice little note containing an apology and my information in a waterproof plastic bag on your windshield. I know you think I did that only because there was a policeman exiting the fast food place right near there who saw the whole thing, but I didn't. I would have done the right thing, whether he were there or not. Just because you would have driven away if no one had seen you, doesn't mean any other self-respecting person would have.

In any case, I suppose it is your right to choose to be vindictive and "teach me a lesson" in your own special way, and I guess the only response I can really have for that is: karma's a bitch. Your time will come.

That Girl

Thursday, May 28, 2009

oh p.s. I love lolcats. I was one for halloween this past was a lot better than you'd think. Trust me.

Oh, you know.

My mother yells at me for being too opinionated. She complains I am too judgemental, too quick to think badly of others, blah blah blah. Example: yesterday, at my beloved younger sister's high school graduation, the student speaker gave, I have absolutely no problem saying, a horribly abysmal speech. She said the word "change" (cliched and typical :barf:) about 600 times but never made any point about how change is good, bad, looks good with a hat on....nothing. No point whatsoever. Instead of bringing me to rather embarrassing and sloppy tears, the speech made me slump down farther into the uncomfortable metal seat and whisper to my red pant-suited mother, "This speech is horrible, don't you have to audition for this thing?" I could just barely hear her response under the reverence of the word "change" through the pavilion, "Do you have to have an opinion about everything?" accompanied by stern look number 4, reserved for when I violate the "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" rule.

My mother does not appreciate my true, though possibly somewhat harsh opinions, and so I decided to follow the advice of my lovely, older cousin, and start my own blog. SO LISTEN TO ME AND MY OPINIONS...just kidding.

Well, actually, I partly started this blog to share some of my poetry online (please don't leave! I swear to god it won't make you throw up or want to cut yourself.) I'm an aspiring writer, and I need some exposure, and I just know I'm going to have way too much free time this summer.

So anywho, read it, comment on it, love it, hate it. whatevskis. I'm just here doing stuff, you know.